Monday, August 16, 2010

black, in blue.

some people won't get my blog. i realized that recently. well, i knew it all along, but it's one of those things you forget you know until you're reminded of it.

hey. hey you, whoever you are: i don't need you to save me. my fingers almost seized up just typing those words, they're so ridiculous. save me from what? myself? i'm my biggest ally. what is going on? communication has broken down somewhere on the side of an abandoned road in a ghost town. between the internet and texting, no one knows what anyone is saying anymore. psst – we never really know.

if you've ever studied linguistics, you'll know that when it comes to how we talk to each other, grammar and all its evil minions are not to be bothered with. say whatever you want, however you want. this is what i learned from dr. connor, my linguistics professor. he had a wicked irreverence and liked egg salad sandwich and guinness for lunch. i knew because i served it to him at the blue moose, my job through and after college. my favorite job ever, to this day. i still see dr. connor on my visits to morgantown. he calls me "kiddo," and if we both have time, we sit and talk about life. he was actually my second linguistics professor, because the first time around, beady-eyed Professor By-The-Book gave me no choice but to drop... not counting the other choice, which was to finish. but no way was i giving him 50 minutes, 3 days a week. i never could understand those kids who took college soo seriously...never skipping or dropping or walking in late, always taking pages of notes and making piles of index cards. study groups were at the top of my list of things to avoid — why would i want hanging out to be work? people are so weird. i took college as seriously as i take politicians and people who wear sunglasses indoors. actually, college was the only time in my life that i knew what i was doing while i was doing it. i was taking it seriously enough. and guess who still graduated with honors. i bet all those star students, at this very moment, are screwing their secretaries or mailmen to escape the misery of their perfectly ordered lives.

dr. connor said "anything goes." my blog is no exception. i say what i want. and while i hope people get it, some won't. the next best thing is to never again run face-first into the worst kind of misapprehension, the way i did recently. i'm not looking to be saved. i'm just...looking. and writing about it. however i want.

if dr. connor were here, he'd say way to go, kiddo.

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