The Rebranding of a Real Man

This morning, I listened to two men on two different shows talk about making the world better, by raising boys to love themselves and by being men who do the same.

I get high on seeing people fired up to make a difference. I especially appreciate it when men speak up about the problems inherent in our cultural perception of masculinity.

This isn't about making men soft and weak. That's a big, fat fear-based reaction. Of all the things that could kill us, encouraging men to be fully human isn't among them. Maintaining reverence for the "strong, silent" man is a stupid game with stupid prizes.

As a woman who often speaks up about our patriarchal predicament, I'm subject to labels like "whiny" and "man-hater." Which brings to mind a phrase I've come across while editing investing articles: When a company has a product that isn't valuable or engaging, it's "not sticky." Same goes for labels tossed at women like me. 

The truth is, I'm not above appreciating the typical qualities deemed Safe for Male Consumption: Men can be big and strong and bearded. They can take down the bad guys and pick up the heavy things. They can enjoy watching other men play with balls while scratching their own. They can have a deep voice and a shallow sense of humor. At the very same time, real men can express a range of emotions, handle rejection without vengeance, wear their hair in a bun, and pen a beautiful love song. I draw the line at Buckle jeans, bad pop country, and indifference to books, but to each their own bad taste. 

When I tuck in my 10- and 7-year-old sons at night, we hold hands and say a prayer. In the morning drop-off line, we do the same. I tell them, Love yourself first, but be kind. Before my biggest boy exits the car, he kisses my cheek and tells me "I love you so much," and my littlest boy blows kisses as he walks down the sidewalk. I hope those moments see them through, especially in my less-poetic mom moments when I'm worn down and breathing fire.

We're living in interesting times culturally. Paradigms are shifting. My reactions range from support to indifference (and a little eye rolling too — I'm fully human), but I don't assume my opinions are a mandate.

A changing culture is something I don't fear. Between mammograms, Pap smears, laugh lines, and thigh gaps, I have enough to worry about. No time to spend being horrified by the thought of a world with men who don't eat nails for dinner or can't powerlift a monster truck.

I'm encouraged by the number of men who are showing themselves to be multidimensional. That kind of man has existed since the beginning of time, by the way. It's just that now it's becoming acceptable to acknowledge it.

In my day job as a copywriter (mysterious emphasis intended), I help brands be their best by defining their voice, style, mission. Sometimes they decide a rebrand is in order to elevate their presence. That feels right for where we are now culturally. We're rebranding manhood. I'm on board with this campaign.