Dear West Virginia University: We're Not Gonna Take It

ICYMI: WVU, West Virginia's flagship land-grant research university, is recommending eliminating 9 percent of its majors, all the foreign language programs and 7 percent of full-time faculty members.



Since WVU’s massive cuts were announced, an entirely predictable response came from those who are entirely incapable of thinking outside their political box: “Good riddance!” 

Hating on higher education has become a cultural preoccupation in recent years, stemming from the misguided belief that universities are breeding grounds for liberals. 

Credit: Dave Reyn, Morgantown, WV

Here’s an inconvenient truth: We need liberals. Just like we need conservatives and all sorts of other groups we find distasteful. It takes a variety of jerks to make the world go round. 

Over 20 years ago, aka Before My Boobs Got Their First Job, I graduated from West Virginia University with a degree in English, a department that has now lost its MFA in creative writing due to the recent cuts. 

Let’s recall: The legit purpose of a liberal arts university is to provide courses in…wait for it…liberal arts. If you prefer schools that don’t offer degrees in silly things like writing or history or foreign languages, may I suggest a trade school. 

During college, I worked at the Blue Moose Cafe as a barista. One of my regular customers was a small, raven-haired 40-something woman who called herself a witch. Given my conservative, Baptist upbringing, I should have decided unequivocally that I should not serve her, since handing her a cup of coffee would clearly show my support for her witchy ways. Instead, I looked at her as simply another human being who, although having ways that were not my ways, was not harming anyone. Had she been, say, a known dog fighter or child predator, then I would’ve felt justified in taking a stand. Here’s the kicker: Despite my continual exposure to a witch, I managed to not become a witch myself. I blame being raised by parents who led more by example than by decree. 

My fire-and-brimstone loving parents are probably kicking themselves now for not telling me who I should be during my formative years, but the damage is done. What made the biggest impression was their habit of taking care of people, not only family but anyone in need. Sorry, Mom and Dad. You done raised a liberal without even trying. 

Anyway, back to higher education. What I’ve gleaned from friends who are WVU professors: These cuts aren’t an act of austerity. Rather, it’s posturing that isn’t addressing the root causes: administrative bloat, misappropriation, and perhaps even malfeasance. 

I saw a list of the top ~30 salaries at WVU, and they’re astounding—from the 200s up to 4+ million. 

At the top of that list are WVU coaches. Complaints about coach salaries are a common refrain, but I don’t go there. Coaches make loads of money because sports bring in loads of money. If you don’t like it, good luck with telling people to stop having a good time their way. I’m not a big sports fan, but I can have a good time in the company of balls. As a mom of boys, I mean that literally and figuratively.

Let’s talk about other salaries: If lower enrollment is a reason for slashing programs, then why are professors taking the fall for it? Before the “Everyone Wants a Handout” crowd gets their caps lock key ready: This isn’t a matter of taking from the “rich” admins/coaches and giving to the “poor” professors. As far as I understand, a professor’s job is to teach and to enhance their value through continuing education, publication, research, sabbatical, etc. Enrollment, however, falls under the purview of university management. If they aren’t  performing—and clearly they aren’t if the university has a $45 million shortfall—then shouldn’t they be held accountable?  

Also noteworthy is the fact that WVU is ranked among the top research colleges and universities in the country, with an R1 status. Among the many programs that got the ax is the doctoral masters program in math. R1 status is in part determined by the number of doctoral degrees a school offers. According to an article in the TimesWV, “The end of the graduate programs is especially bewildering for the math department, considering that it brings in over $7 million a year to the university through fellowships and other funding. It’s also the only one in the state.”

Somebody make this make sense. 

Anyway. It’s about time for my regularly scheduled cry over losing my canine life partner on Saturday, but before I go, allow me to show my age: These photos of WVU kids fighting back bring to mind a telltale drum intro and a dude with a bad perm and worse makeup job growling WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMOOOOOORE. 

Give ‘em hell, kids.